Hello again. It seems the urge to write comes at times when my laptop breaks (it’s only the keyboard this time) and when the stresses of life wear on my face and I start looking old. That app is caca by the way. For real, just look at a picture of your grandparents. Anyway, there’s been a tension in my chest since I turned 30. The nagging change of homes, loves, finances, hair, cars, jobs, states... everything. I used to think I liked change, but I think I’m tired.

Speaking of tired, that new 猫 シ Corp. & t e l e p a t h has been my sleeping aide these past few days, which automatically makes it onto my year end list.

Infinite Love

Today has been the hardest day. While I know we're eventually going to lose everyone we love, this one, along with my uncle's death, has been the roughest. I think maybe I have a hard time with death because I don't know what's after. I want to believe there's more. I want to believe we're here because the order of the universe has a plan that's beyond our comprehension. It's just really scary to think we won't exist someday.

this post has been in my drafts for a while now. and i'm still having a hard time coping with the loss. the night before Papa Tony died, i took the train to chicago b/c i had to get out and wanted to be around people. i found myself walking to a record store - i always feel at ease when i'm looking through records. while i was in line (buying a few dvds for class), my sister called, so i left reckless and stood under an awning trying not to break down. she put the phone on speaker so my grandpa could hear me and let me say my goodbyes. He couldn't speak, but he could hear me. i wanted to get off the phone so fast. i also wish i could have been there with my family while everyone said goodbye. it was weird being in a city full of people and feeling so alone. that's something i've always enjoyed about cities, but it was more this time.

something my grandpa and i shared was our love for jazz. i told my sister to play "in a sentimental mood" for Papa Tony that night she called. a while back i took that record from my grandpa's basement - it's the one jazz record i have of his.

night drifts (pretty girls i used to know pt.2)

11 days in and 2018 has been a rollercoaster of feelings. There's a hole i'd like to crawl into, and no, not a butthole. That's gross. You know, when people (mostly guys) say they want someone to sit on their face, they should really ask themselves when the last time that person really cleaned out their b hole. b/c do you really want shit bits on your face? Now I understand some people might - it's their thing - but for the rest of us, i know there's a reason we wash our hands after we use the restroom. ANYWAY, i'm heading back to school in a few days and i don't really want to. i just want to work, find a girl who's kind as eff and gets me, start a family, grow, and tell myself i made it.

Nighttime Drifts (Pretty Girls I Used to Know pt.2) from yesoos

Blogger, I can't quit you

Life is funny and I'm a dick sometimes. I want to say sorry to someone, but my gut is telling me not to. Not because they don't deserve the apology, but I just shouldn't. The apology is a few years late and I don't think it's fair to right now. So I'm just going to put this out here... I'm sorry. If the universe brings you here, don't question if this apology is meant for you - just know it is.

What brought me to this point was a lot of thinking and creeping.

Speaking of creeping, you know what's funny about my most recent ex? I think she's mad about a tinder profile my roommates inundated onto me. I don't even want to date right now. I don't have time for that ish. Even if I did want to, there's no room to be angry when she was the one who ended things. It's weird how fast I got over her though. Of course, I still have love for her, but it's the kind of love I have for an old friend. My gut told me she wasn't right from the beginning. Did I listen though? No. And for that, I apologise to myself. My gut also told me tinder is wack af... deleted that ish with a quickness.

There's a moral here: Listen to your gut, every time. It'll tell you everything.

Chasing the moon from yesoos on 8tracks Radio.

two in a day. cool.

"you're so cool imma call you a culo." that's a line from "la raza" by Kid Frost. i remember my dad laughing at that line when i was in like 3rd grade. he laughs from his gut. those are the best laughs. the most contagious laughs. i don't have a laugh like that. most people don't. anyway, my uncle who lives in california gave my dad the cassette single who then gave it to me. I think it was my first rap tape outside of vanilla ice.

i wrote this last night and just found out Kid Frost was diagnosed with cancer. i had some personal stuff in this post, but nothing i had to say is nowhere near as important as his battle. many blessings to Kid Frost.

expectations

when you're young, you have a mental image of what being an adult is like. when you're older, that mental image doesn't really go away unless you're already there. i thought by now i'd have a family of my own, living in a different city, working for who knows. i'm not there yet. if i could go back and tell my younger self to do things differently, i most definitely would. i'd try to make sure i met the expectation i had for myself. i'd tell myself to stay away from certain girls, don't waste your time in art school and just go to niu, look for a better job in sf and STAY THERE. but i can't and have to live with certain disappointments.

disappointments are a funny thing though. the only reason people get them is b/c of expectations. i used to date a girl who said she didn't have expectations from people other than herself... that way, she would live without disappointment - i didn't believe her. i just can't imagine not expecting. it's hard to not expect certain things out of the people you're closest to. even little things. i think it's fair to expect people to care about something you've worked hard at trying to build even if it doesn't interest them. but then again, if they care about you, it should interest them b/c it's something you made. every ounce of it is YOU. so why shouldn't they care about it, unless they really don't care about you. or maybe they're just too caught up in their own world. idk. sometimes people are selfish.
i try to show interest in letting my friends and family know i want them to succeed in what they love. from listening to what they have to say, reading their scripts, giving feedback on their music, listening to their monologues, down to the smallest notions of liking a post on facebook. i have a friend who runs a business crafting leather goods. he seems to really love it! i don't really buy leather products if i have a choice, but i try to show my support in any way i can. it's the most amazing thing when people have a dream and go for it. the older i get, the more i realize it takes the people around you to support your ideas and dreams even if it's not their thing. without their support, the starting point feels as dismal as the end game. MY POINT IS: support your loved ones in what they love. almost everyone has a dream. maybe they don't come out and say what their dream is b/c they're afraid of failure, but support their passions anyway. those passions are where their dreams hang out.

speaking of supporting your friends, here's some music my friend made. perfect for zoning out, yo!

Time to find a new job

i know i just started a new job, but eff... Kind of want to be done smelling like my job when i go home.

here's some piano music for when you're tired of complaining



ikotu - I II III IIII EP

happy brandon boyd day

It's true brandon boyd of incubus changed his bday to mine b/c i got it like that. but for real, i don't have it like that. fooled you guys for a minute. for real for real, it's been a really nice, chill day. slept in, had breakfast/lunch and coffee with my lovely girrrl, and i'm about to watch the bachelor a little later. taking it back to the days of living in a sacramento burb, watching sean lowe deal with his season of mostly down to earth ladies (and one crazy). i don't know anything about this season. all i want is drama for these people. it's like staring at the aftermath of a car accident. you hope no one gets hurt, but you can't look away, b/c it's not something you see everyday... it's not even something you want to see.
anyway, i'm hoping the rest of 34 feels like the past few days in the approach to this age. chill, fun, lovely... and a little bit of excitement from stealing a rose for my valentine. proflowers effed up my order, so i had to steal something. i don't feel bad about it.
so to keep me and everyone in that lovely, chill mode, i suggest Yoh the Shaolin's "Tales Over Tea." think 90's rap, meditative flows, and the best of vibes.



Yoh the Shaolin - Tales Over Tea

just another day (in the neighborhood) - Queen Latifah.

but there is something different about coming into the new year. it's like starting fresh, you know? who doesn't like fresh? dirty mofos don't like fresh. gross, right? don't be a dirty motha-fatha. showers are nice. bathing is always dope... which reminds, i need to wear deodorant waaaay more often. idk, sometimes i just forget and then it's too late. i'm out and about and i smell like a damn onion. not fresh.

consider devin malek your daily deodorant and keep your ears as far away from an aural onion. check the video and track right hurrr:


br>

yurrr end list

i have favorite songs this year. here they are:
* submerse - gloom
* Kelela - rewind
* 99 SUBLIME - Moonspear - Hell Hounds
* Gantz - Spooky Action At A Distance
* Kali Uchis - Loner
* Gabe 'Nandez - Sifu
* Alina Baraz - Make You Feel
* Loaf Muzik - Percasets
* emune. - Abigail
* Shay Lia - One

so i'm sitting at some coffee shop in the chi on a wifi connection named notoriousthugs. i think it's tight. apparently the word "tight" isn't cool anymore. i don't give an eff though. you know, that happens when you're old - you start caring about that kind of stuff less and less. not that i stopped caring about being cool, b/c i definitely still care about cool... just not as much. just the other day i was shopping for sweat pants. wtf... sweat pants. i've never given a shits about sweat pants. didn't end up buying any, but the intention was there.

i think caffeine makes my hands sweaty. or maybe it's nerves. or both. been thinking a lot about school and how that's going to pan out. also been thinking about not working my job after december. it's a bit scary, but i like that there's a light at the end of this shitty job tunnel and another tunnel in the form of school in about a month. i hope i can find some nice sweatpants by the time classes start. going to be spending a lot of time trying to get comfortable while doing homework.

have some good holidays, you guys!

... and all those ships

sometimes i'd really rather be spaghetti.

in other news, the homies from 99Sublime did some dope ish with this one

the fall

there's something melancholy but at the same time exciting about the fall. idk what it is. i do know what it is... but i also don't know. it's a seasonal feeling with other things, i guess. kind of like how june depresses me. fall just feels like an exciting time.
past fall albums:
tamaryn "the waves"
interpol "turn on the bright lights"
ramona cordova "the boy who floated freely"
savath + savalas "folk songs for trains"
aphex twin "i care b/c you do"
milosh "you make me feel"
bob marley - (all of them)

you know what? i don't like when people "don't get" reggae. eff off
anyway,

electric birds "gradations"
sam prekop self titled
that one devotchka album
animal collective "feels" + "prospect hummer"
grouper "dragging a dead dear up a hill"
(i guess fall isn't a hip hop season for me.)
but yeah, this year's fall album is a few years old:
rhye "woman"
3 days is so beautiful to me and so is this track:
also, it's fitting that the original title for "woman" was "the fall"

perfect timing... but not really

"life is weird and i can't sleep, but here's some music" should be the name of this blog. i wish i could be completely honest on here. but the only thing i can be truly honest about is what i've been listening to or watching. even then, sometimes i don't want to be. so i'll leave with a quote from the last movie i watched: "These are hard times for dreamers." i'm taking this quote a few ways. it's hard to dream when you can't sleep. b/c i can't sleep. the last dream i remember was from a few weeks ago. david spade pushing me into a locker and me wanting to choke the shit out of him. other stuff happened in the dream (not between david spade and me), but those will go to the grave. nothing explicit, you weirdos. just things i want to keep to myself b/c they're important and relevant. it was one of those dreams that makes you realize how important and telling dreams are. made me realize how you probably know more than you think b/c thinking isn't always going to tell you the truth. also, eff an ego. you're better off being yourself. (note to self). (other note to self: trust yourself). the other way i'm taking that quote (the one about dreamers), is how it relates to letting go of your ego. the most memorable dreamers to me were the ones who were themselves completely. i didn't personally know any of them, but their personalities just seem so genuine and that they're so celebrated seems to attest to my assumption. i think my best friends have pretty genuine personalities. they're all beautiful people. people who aren't afraid to be who they are. almost like they don't even know what it's like to pretend being someone they're not. like their personalities have no reservations and make no apologies. what i'm saying is, i need to stop trying to be too cool. i'm probably not even cool enough to be "too cool." but you know what? that's okay. i don't need to be.

now the fun part: here's a mix i made for a recent event. enjoy!




Various - Sabbath After Midnight

i only sleep when i'm not supposed to

last night i wrote a post about infinity and the number 1. i'm not posting it b/c maybe i'm going crazy. it's dumb how i wake up every night at 3am. it's dumb as hell how the thought of space and all the possibilities of the universe cross my mind at the same time as having the insecurities of wanting a good hair day sunday for an event. life is funny like that. the big things make you feel small enough to think about the little things like the molecules that makeup the reason you're living with a perpetual bad hair day. i'll probably just wear a hat anyway. it's almost 5am and i'm thinking about looking up the history of hats. good morning, everyone.

btw, lord apex has a new ep. it's cool.



(this is what i wanted to post last night, but i'm listening to this at the moment)

my tabs

earlier today one of my oldest/closest friends asked me about an animal collective video we used to watch with panda bear and avey tare freaking out on their guitars in a record store. i found it, but it took me to a weird place. somewhere between 2004-early 2007. i remember taking a train to new mexico, listening to do make say think and campfire songs almost the entire way. we met some interesting people on the train whose names escape me, but i remember a troop of boy scouts who thought i was from NYC and a girl from orange county who seemed friendly, but was probably a turd nugget in real life (talked about coke a lot... not the soda). the point of going to albuquerque was to check out UNM, but we just went record shopping the whole time. i remember seeing sung tongs at the borders where victor, our cab driver, dropped us off (i remember his name because we share it). i wanted to buy it, but didn't want to spend the money on CDs - especially since i already had the mp3s on my laptop (i eventually bought it many times, for the record). listening to their acoustic set as i write this gives me a happy-sad feeling of nostalgia and a feeling of what ifs as avery tare wails "i wish i had more time." i wish 2004-2007 was longer than 3 years. those were some of my favorite years. 2006 was the year i moved to the place i felt closest to home. the brain is funny... just thinking about walking to work in SF puts a feint smell in head that i haven't smelled since i was there last. paris kind of had that smell, but even then, paris didn't feel the way SF felt. close, but no cigarello.
i'd love to share the other tabs on my browser and write little stories about them too, but "The psychology of the Mother-in-law" (but she's not even a mother in law. just a mad mother of a girl i date) would be a whole other blog full of airing grievances that i'm not willing to share here. besides, this is a music blog and you guys are here for music.

so i leave you here with a link of the acoustic set that's making me feel the way i do right now.

Emune

this kid is something else with the 404. i used to hate so much on simple drum patterns, but it's hard to fake the funk when it comes to feeling. and right now i'm feeling like i need a haircut and a hair transplant at the same time. this humidity, man - doesn't let me feel like the herbal essence girl. not that i want to feel like her, because she's a girl and i'm a man with big muscles and a lot of fluff on my chest (i'm lying my butt off right now EL OH EL).

ANYWAY, Emune has some serious skills in creating a mood out of what seems to be simple drum patterns and layered loops. don't let that fool you though, there's nothing simple about what emune does. his tracks build and go places most beat tapes fall short at. so guys, vibe out and enjoy the grooves.



emune - auras (bandcamp link to free download)

happy the 4th of i've been working on a podcast

who doesn't like hearing people talk about things? who doesn't like a host who puts on his best NPR voice? (not ira glass though... he's cool, but i don't sound like him. also, this is how i talk.)
anyway, here are episodes 4 & 6 for that ace.





and again the itunes link to subscribe from there:
itunes

thank you guys!

i wanted to say thank you guys for all the submissions to the label and podcast! there were many/almost too many. my apologies for not getting back to everyone. though i will say, you're all very talented and have some serious skills! please don't be discouraged if i didn't reply - not everyone's music fit in with what the label or podcast is doing, but that doesn't take away from the pool of talent from the submissions.

so i'm three episodes deep, with the latest ep featuring an interview with scott xylo. dude is growing into a beast of a beat maker. his latest track is full of the most chill vibes money can buy - money can't buy chill vibes, but it can buy you a website for your label and a place to host your podcasts. so that's what i did with the royalties i earned from making the beat for "laffy taffy." (i didn't really make that beat, but i lied about it once).

ANYWAY, peep game, guys.

here's the podcast:
on iTunes

and the label website:
eclecticbpm.com

SEND ME YOUR DEMOS

the postings here are becoming less frequent... my apologies. BUTT (two Ts because it's a big but), i'll be posting more soon! i'm working on doing something i've always wanted to do - starting a label. i'll be releasing limited run cassettes for artists on the come up who's music i enjoy - mostly in the electronic and hip hop genres, but not exclusively (i'm all for moody/music for night drives type jams).
so, if you're reading this and have music you'd like to release (or have released already but would like in cassette form), please send it my way. i'm also going to start a podcast with mixes of stuff i'd typically post here, along with interviews of artists who i'm a fan of but could use a little more exposure. so don't be a scurred turd! link me your music at victor(dot)victrola(at)gmail(dot)com

2014 B.O. (body odor)

took a bath yesterday, played two soccer games, and i still don't smell! HOW IS THIS HAPPENING?! i'll tell you how. there's this body wash i used with odor guard. i don't plan on bathing for the next 3 days because of this body wash. you suckas are wasting your time taking showers everyday.
just joking, guys. don't be nasty. but for real, i can't smell myself. i don't know how i smell. probably good.

my body odor has nothing to do with my top albums of 2014, but i'm going to post them anyway.

(in no order)
* Jonwayne - cassette on vinyl
* Confucius MC - the highest order
* Deru - 1979
* Miserable - dog days
* Federico Durand - el estanque esmeralda
* Michiru Aoyama - 暖かな季節 (warm season)
* Clap! Clap! - tayi bebba
* TOPS - picture you staring
* Delicate Features - the passenger
* Andy Stott - faith in strangers
* Miserable - dog days

and my favorite tracks from my favorite albums of 2014

various - 2014 B.O.

aaaaaaand a cool picture from my view at work (when it's nice out)

you know how you know you're old? your mother effing hips start hurting when you walk for more than 30 minutes. i had to stop at a starbucks b/c my hips were in pain. and i'm sure i'm going to have to stop again when my knees start hurting... b/c they will start hurting soon. what's weird/sucks is that i stopped caring about my grey hairs so much and started caring more about my old man hips. for real though, i have old people hips now. you guys, i'm that much closer to death... kind of like this blog.

there are a few things i want to post about right now, but won't. i don't think i like you guys enough. that should be apparent by my lack of posts. maybe we're just taking a break. i love you guys so much, i decided to set you free. jkjkjkjkjkjk.

in about an hour Mexico plays Croatia and i'm trying to think of where to go to watch the game (i'm in toronto right now). last world cup i was in paris watching the game with all my people by the eiffel tower. i love seeing everyone in a green jersey cheering for Mexico when at a place where there aren't a lot of Mexicans. i don't know why i don't have a green jersey yet. maybe b/c adidas made it ugly as eff for this wolrd cup. why are you trying to play us, adidas? i don't appreciate that chit. maybe also b/c a jersey is $90. i love my father's motherland, but not enough to spend $90 on an ugly jersey. i can buy a decent pair of jeans that i'll wear almost everyday for that amount of money. i can see myself being too embarrassed to wear some handcrafted bullshit adidas designed for more than as long as mexico plays. if these were the jerseys from last WC, i'd be down. for now i'll try to find a non official shirt that says mexico on it. or maybe i'll just stick with the keychain on my backpack (which only set me back 2/$5)... and it's not ugly. anyway, SI SE PEUDE!

i don't really know what to post. maybe since i saw run the jewels last night and can't really upload anything with this slow wifi, i'll post a link for that. it's not my favorite thing, but they put on a really good show.



run the jewels - pt.1 (just click "get it now" form the fools gold page)

circa 2006

i don't know how i almost forgot about this mix. a few days ago my brother in law asked me about a mix i gave him a few years ago that i bought in 2006 from a dj i met in a SF record store on haight. i think it was my first venture on haight by myself. my roommate told me to take the bus from van ness (i think it was the 49) if i wanted to get to amoeba records from sutter. but i'm a dummy and decided to walk once the bus took a turn i didn't recognize. i'm glad i walked though. i remember walking into a small, halfway underground (literally) record store hearing some soul with a breakbeat that was begging to be sampled. i asked the guy working who it was (i forgot what he said) and noticed he was working on some beats from his laptop. struck up a conversation and ended up buying his mix. didn't really know what to expect, but this stuff was DOPE! so here you go, people... i don't know how available this mix is (pretty sure it's long oop).

shout out to dj b. cause for being cool and one of the first people to have a conversation with me in a new city. shout out to Matthew Africa as well... he and b. cause made a super dope mix
After a quick google search i came across quite a few articles about Matthew Africa being no longer with us. the cool thing about music though... this stuff doesn't go away... and he left us with some really, REALLY great stuff.



matthew africa & dj b. cause - various - soul boulders vol. 1

my work clothes are fading, but i don't care b/c they're my work clothes

chilling at a bookstore coffee place, waiting for my homie to get off work. trying to sip on this mocha because i know if i don't sip, my stomach is going to get all pissed off and start talking shit (literally). gross, right? well you know what? i poop everyday.. think about that for a minute.

i was thinking about why i haven't posted in a while and came to the realization i had nothing i wanted to share or say. everything i want to talk about has to do with my job and i don't like talking about my job too much because i don't want to get in trouble with the company i work for. BUT i will say this: i work with some shitheads. not the good kind either. homophobic, racist, misogynistic b-holes. it makes me appreciate the people i used to work with a lot more. i mean, i liked the people i used to work with, but this new job puts so much perspective on how cool they are. (if you're reading this and i used to work with you, this isn't about you... i'll never think you're cool (joking)). i don't know man, work places are so weird. it's like everyone is a character. at my record store job, my manager was pretty much batman (love that dude and his superhero tendencies). we used to talk about fighting and martial arts and how to be ultimate warriors (although, i'd rather be an intimate warrior LOL). another coworker used to kick people out of the store by threatening them with a wood stick that had a nail sticking out of it (we used it to turn the air/heater on and off). another one used to think he was being slick by checking out the girls that walked by... till i started standing behind him saying "HEY!" so they'd turn around and see him. he stopped for a while after that. i roomed with another one... he was my bff. another one was part devil, but cool to talk about things with and play pool against. see man, those were some fun people to work with. the people i work with now, i keep at a safe distance. with the exception of one or two people... the rest are shitheads. NOT THE GOOD KIND.

anyway, i don't even know what album to post...
well, i kind of know what to post... i've been going through my cd collection and finding stuff that takes me back. so for the first of the nostalgic cd collection, i'm choosing pikachu... lol... i'm lame. no, but for real, qwel is the dude. especially when i was like 19 or 20. i remember being at scribble jam thinking i was having a conversation with him bc he was hanging out at the galapagos 4 table, but it was just some other dude. my friend told me it wasn't him. i felt stoooooopid.

but yeah, i bought this cd at scribble jam... HATED the first track... and i still do. track two is the shit though. skip track one if you're not a sucker. if you are a sucker, have fun being a sucker (enjoying something i couldn't... i hate you)



qwel - the rubber duckie experiment

all my children

that show got cancelled. just like all my plans. i'm going to take a minute and feel sorry for myself today. this seems to happen everytime i plan to do something on my bday. i remember my sister getting me tickets for a show to see gorillaz on my bday... it snowed over a foot and roads closed. another time an ex got tickets for another show... it snowed and delayed the train... we missed the show. this year i was trying to see my gf and it snowed the day i was supposed to fly out and all the flights cancelled. my back up plan didn't happen b/c of other unfortunate happenings (that i wish didn't happen for non selfish reasons). my back up to the back up plan isn't happening either... b/c everyone wants to go to SF on their day off and i don't have seniority to get a seat on a plane before them. spent most of the day by myself b/c everyone thought i was leaving and they made their own plans. also, lost money on a hotel. so yeah, if you're born in february, i'm sorry for you.

i realize i'm throwing myself a pity party, but i need this outlet b/c i don't know who else to complain to.

i should probably post my BO 5/5 list, but i don't want to right now. instead i'll post what i think is my favorite album of 2013. i say "i think" it's my favorite album of 2013, b/c i don't know. i just think it is.



kelela - cut 4 me

it's okay not to dance

just got done watching a movie on netflix and noticed the tab of the post i was going to write earlier: "Blogger: it's okay not to dance..." then i remembered why i chose that title. my aunt owned an arcade/dance club for teens that i would go to on friday and saturday nights (this was when i was in 7th and 8th grade). i remember people trying to get me dance... even going as far as pulling me off my seat to get up and move around. it wasn't happening... i won't dance for you. fast forward to me being 24... my 2nd night in SF with someone (my roommate's friend) i just met the night before. we were hanging out at an OM records' tenth anniversary party and i was NOT DANCING. everyone in that building was dancing but me (and the bouncer). my new friend took me to a different room with a bunch of mirrors and said "just look at yourself and move to the music.. follow my lead." i stood there, holding my water, looking at myself looking stupid in the mirror while she danced. at that point i didn't know if i would look more dumb dancing or just standing there. i just stood there.

so the title to my blog is just a reminder that i don't have to dance to look stupid.

(eventually i did dance... a few years later with the influence of vodka + orange juice. that was a fun night. so the moral is: if you're going to look stupid dancing, drink a vodka + orange juice)

(but the REAL moral is: it's okay if you don't dance because your sister made a fool of you at the tender age of 5 when she convinced you to do an embarrassing dance in front of your parents for $5 and then didn't give you the money after)

so here's some music you don't have to dance to.



kuedo - severant

mike

there's this guy i work with named mike. mike likes camo and country. he wants/needs his future girlfriend to like camo and country. he's the most sincere annoying little shit at my job. needless to say, work wouldn't be the same without him (i'm still undecided if that's a good or bad thing).

today i told him a joke i thought he would get a kick out of:
Q - how do you make an eggroll?
A - you push it.
(i remembered it from a laffy taffy wrapper)
he didn't laugh really, but he individually told everyone we worked with... so i think he enjoyed the joke. i don't know... maybe he didn't get it at first. it's not really funny, but it's the kind of joke i can hear mike telling his future girlfriend's parents at dinner someday. i hope they laugh.

now for the music... if yoshimi battles(...) was a broadcast or stereolab record, secret angles would have been made way sooner. i wonder of mike would get a kick out of the name of this band...

cock & swan - secret angles

lazy today

all i want to do is pick my toenails and think about things. about an hour ago i planned on taking a shower, but i ended up eating a can of beans and some pita bread while watching parks and rec. don't worry guys, i washed my hands before i ate. and i only pick at my toenails when i have nothing else to pick at. i need a bracelet or something. but maybe not. i always end up breaking them because i mess with them too much and i don't take them off.

i'm posting something that isn't what i'm listening to right now, because what i'm listening to right now is a gloomy mix i made in the summer and i don't feel like sharing it with you turds (mostly i don't want to take the time to tag it properly and upload it). instead you guys will get something by arca. this is big speaker or headphone music btw... if you don't have either, i'd suggest closing this tab and listening to some cazytown "come my lady/come, come my lady." also, the track at 6:28 is my jam to play on my way to work. it hits.

you can download it from the download link on the embedded sound below:

festive bummer is a good title

just download the music and don't read because it's just me feeling sorry for myself and i'm probably going to be annoyed at rereading this... i'm saving you guys the grief, okay? trust me on this one.
guys, i have a lot to write about, but i don't want to share what i want to write about. maybe i need more friends. i need my old friends back. but it's like they've all partnered off and then i moved away... and now that i'm back in IL, it's been hard to get back in the groove of hanging out with people who already have a routine with their significant other... which is why i've only been hanging out with one friend (but he likes to party a lot and i don't). guys, i'm feeling sorry for me right now and i don't want to be home tonight. is that okay? if you're still reading, i'm sorry, but i warned you, so i'm not that sorry. for your troubles, i'll offer you guys some advice for getting older: don't let your friends get into relationships if you don't feel like staying home on saturday nights. (I'M JOKING)

here's some real advice: eat good/cool foods and travel if you're going to hang out by yourself most of the time. it gives you something to post pictures about on instagram so people won't think you're a loser.

i keep forgetting to write about the music. well... i like this album quite a bit (especially tonight). i hope that's good enough.



mickey mickey rourke - festive bummer

funk is a good word and fancy cars are for men older than me

i'm not sure what it is, but today was weird. maybe i can call it a funk. but you know, funk is a cool word and i'm not sure if i want to put it in a negative light to describe how i feel. i've been trying to DL a movie for the last 4 hours, but the stupid thing won't work. so now i'm just listening to music and staring at the ceiling being an idiot. maybe i should have done something tonight. i don't know... it's like, do i go see a stupid movie or do i sit at home? i chose home, obviously. tomorrow though... i'm totally going to work. YEAH! what has my easy life become?? mid-midlife crisis over here. if only i had the money to buy a fancy car like i was really going through a midlife crisis. i'd drive it around and listen to something really quiet and wonder why i bought a fancy car when all i want to do is watch the movie i'm trying to download. this might be the only time i'm going to apologize on this blog and mean it. sorry for the shitty post.

at least there's always music. but really, i'm only posting this for one song... because the one song is pretty dope and i keep listening to it. if i had a fancy car, this is the song i'd ride to right now. there's a full moon tonight (even though it's cloudy and moon is hiding) and my anxiety is high and i feel like i need to stretch (but not literally stretch... it's hard to explain). oh, and my hair is doing its treasure troll thing today... even it's sad. lol.

alright, i'm going to watch some adventure time and lay on my bed till i fall asleep. goodnight.



slava - soft control

p.s. the dope track is #4

no trains

so i didn't have work training today. and i won't have to go in over the weekend either. praise be to computer maintenance deities - i offer you the rest of my little sister's bag of skittles in the fridge. please accept this gift.

ANYWAY, after this amazing post i'm going to watch a movie on my computer. because why would i go to the movies? i mean, i would like to go to the movies, but there is nothing i would go see by myself... it has to be something cool... or with someone i want to sit next to for a little over an hour... in which case, i don't care what the movie is (also known as: being excited about november (even though there won't be time for that)). oranges poranges, WHO CARES?

this one's for the moody BBs. "stay moody, my friends." - dos equis guy
(it's also for the sleepy BBs)



ensemble economique - fever logic

important questions

hey morning people, what is wrong with you? do you really like waking up early? or are you lying to yourself? how do you do wake up early as eff, in a good mood, eating eggs and pancakes and shit? HOW THE EFF? i want to wake up like a foldgers commercial too, okay? teach me your way. (and don't say go to bed earlier, because that's not going to happen... it's not how i work).

seriously, all i want out of life right now is to be laying in my stupid bed. sleeping.

here's some stupid wake up music.

(it's not stupid music, but i think everything is stupid right now)



various - World Psychedelic Classics 3: Love's A Real Thing - The Funky Fuzzy Sounds Of West Africa

so i finally got my sister to care about adventure time. she really likes lumpy (and my impression of lumpy)... i think because apparently lumpy sounds like one of her dance instructors. my mom likes to make fun of her: "okay like dew like 3 moaare (flips) then dew 2 moaare. or dew like 2 moaare first then dew 2 moaare. like i don't know. just do 5 more." my mom isn't always the nicest person, but she's my mom and i love her - even when she threatens to break my arm for being a dummy sometimes. (she's not really going to break my arm, guys. it's okay. DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME)

to those of you who know me, i will not do an impression of lumpy for you. i'll either have to be really tired or under the influence of a few drinks (which doesn't happen often)... so don't ask... because it won't happen.

(i'm posting this track because it's cool and not in the zip file)



Yosi Horikawa - wandering ep

some sisters have bad taste in stay home programming

my little sister said adventure time was depressing. wtf, little sister? you don't know what a depressing cartoon is until you've watched david the gnome. it was one of those cartoons that was on when you're home sick from school chilling on the couch trying to find something to watch. it was either the price is right, soaps, or david the gnome. 1987-(whenever i stopped caring about cartoons when i was sick) were the worst years to stay home from school. do you guys know what happened at the end of the final episode of david the gnome? (spoiler) he turns into a tree. david the gnome turns into a TREE. life lessons. you get sick, stay home from school, eventually you die because you're sick, and then you turn into a tree.

speaking of staying home from school, i had to watch my nephew today... guess what we watched. adventure time, suckaaas. i'm pretty sure he didn't understand the jokes i was laughing at, but he laughed anyway.

i'm not really sure what music to post to go along with this. either something as depressing as david the gnome or something as cool as adventure time. maybe both? okay, both. the first one is the depressing david the gnome type release.



c. wolfe - p is b

------------------------------------------------------



d'flower - ep

rhyming words / smelly tu _ _ s (fill in the blank)

i'm procrastinating. which means i'm going to post some music. lucky you.

i was eating with my mom and sister earlier and we were talking about me and how i was when i was really young... like when i was a baby up till i was 6 or 7. i told my little sister the story about how i hated my pre school teacher because she yelled at me for not thinking cat rhymed with cat. technically it does rhyme, but what the eff?! get off my shit, man. who rhymes the same words and thinks it's okay? i didn't even think it was okay when i was 4. Mrs. Connor, i hope you're not such a lame anymore. you were the only teacher to make me cry and feel stupid.



machinedrum - (rhymes with connor's dumb)

music post

i've been sitting on this for a minute. it's about time i shared it. and you know what? i'm going to actually talk about the album.

it's pretty good. i like track 3, 7, and 10 the most. (i skip track4)

really, i just wanted to post this because i finally listened to it and liked it.

i suppose i should say something about something about my life. well... i took a drug test for a new job today. i accidentally peed on my hand. it was warm. unless the generic fruit loops i've been eating have drugs in them, i passed. (someone congratulate me!)



forest swords - (the new one )

gawd (edited from gahd)

sometimes people say words differently than me - it's called an accent (i know i have one too). normally, i would just think about where that person is from and keep to myself, but when the accent is a cross between english and valley girl, everything changes. just think about it... someone from england with a valley girl accent... how the eff does that happen? and where would this person be from? canada, that's how and where. i just thought they said things like "a-boot" for "about" or "sore-ee" for "sorry." i was wrong. maybe it's just the one i talk to? i don't want to pin this on the whole population of canada. pretty sure you all don't sound this dumb. (joking! don't hate me!)

i guess i should post something from north america's hat. you're not welcome.



babe rainbow - shaved ep

cool vs cold

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i can't stress that enough.

i feel like master p right now. but i'm not a retired rapper... or even a rapper. it's weird to think about hip hop aging. it's like it didn't know it got old. or maybe it did, but it doesn't care because every phase of it's life has been cool to the cool kids... including it's midlife crisis years (1998-2000something). so it's more like that old guy who you know is old but is still cooler than you. (this isn't a metaphor for me by the way... i'm not 40 and i don't think i'm that cool).

but back to my frustrations. no matter how honest you are, you're not going to please everyone. i'd like to think i'm not as cold i was made to feel tonight, but i don't know. see that? i may not be old and cool, but i might be old and cold. and "what's cooler than cool?... ICE COLD." - andre 3000

the music is from a post i took down a few days ago. it's still relevant.



clap! clap! - gwidingwi dema

wreck and reference - black cassette

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~)

i think i've rewritten this post at least ten times.

there's so much i want to say, but i'll wait to say it to you. just two things i want you to know right now: i hate you for turning me into a sap turd. the other thing is, you really do make me so happy.



skywave - echodrone

p.s. happy birthday!!! :)))))
p.p.s. thank you for this album

60F

it feels so perfect.

(i'll probably try to fall asleep to this)



michiru aoyama - 音は光る (the sound is shining)

$5 worth

i remember when i was around 6 or something, my older sister tricked me into doing an embarrassing dance by offering $5 if i did the dance for 30 seconds. 30 seconds may not seem like a long time, but if you're doing something embarrassing for that long, it seems like forever. anyway, so i did the dance IN FRONT OF MY PARENTS and my a-hole sister only to get laughs... no $5. today i mentioned this story to my mom and younger sister (to illustrate how mean my older sister was to me) and how it's why i have low self esteem (jokingly) and she said she wouldn't have let that happen. well... she did let that happen. my mom was there! she also said i must have been stupid, because why would i believe my sister? thanks mom. you're the best.

this is probably why i hate you all (but not really).

(i can remember a story from when i was 6, but i can't remember if i've posted this album already. also, i don't like track one... don't let that deter you from the rest of the album)



beak - >>

no ifs

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

woke up with the same sigh i went to bed with (i'll probably go back to bed in a minute b/c it's way too early to be awake). that's all i really have to say. well, that's not true... i have so much to say about the sigh i'm posting about but i'm choosing to leave it at that because maybe i feel optimistic things will turn out the way i want and i'd rather not jinx anything (even though i don't think it would be jinxed... and i just feel embarrassed about being a daydreaming 12 year old because i try to keep my cool but can't).



elvis depressedly - holo pleasures

(bandcamp link)

a post about nothing with music i think i've already posted

interviews make me so nervous. it's not even till tomorrow, but still. maybe it's a good thing i'm so tired right now.

my mom is playing candy crush, my dad is watching honey boo boo (or whatever it's called), little sister is on her phone looking at one direction pictures on instagram. she doesn't know i can see what she's looking at. i'll stop looking... i don't want to turn into my mom... trying to look at my computer screen to see what i'm doing or who i'm talking to. it makes looking at tumblr nearly impossible. if she saw a boob or a butt on my screen... oh man. i like how google chrome is cool with the way tumblr is spelled but isn't about to let someone type instagram without a red line underneath. you know what else is cool? i'm really tired at 10pm and i'm trying to type this and it's going to be all loopy and stupid and just me giving a play by play of the day (maybe).

still haven't figured out what i'm wearing tomorrow, but i have potential interview clothes in the wash, so i can't go to sleep yet. why the eff am i writing about nothing?

here's some music for wanting to sleep but you can't because you need to throw your clothes in the dryer. it's nice to dream about dreaming.



clickits - s/t

la última empanada

i hate you all the way i hate white creamy foods.

something-something-metaphor about scooping out the vanilla pudding from the empanada because it grosses me out.

here's some music because i don't really hate you at all.

(this terrible post isn't my fault. i got made fun of today about my writing style/format for this blog, so i'm doing this because it was really funny to me and because i'm a hater sometimes. if i ever can't blog here, expect a shithead to blog in my place. also expect shitty posts like this one... but also expect good music)



narvu. - shocka.

told you i'd see you suckers later

so it's my last full day in california. so much stuff to do today (but i have to wait till my uncle gets off work to finish up last minute stuff) and i don't know if i'll have the time to post later or even tomorrow. uuuuggggghhhhh. anyway, california was cool, but i'm ready to go back. i'm going to miss a puppy taking up half the room on the bed and waking me up every morning to go outside only to find she's eating her own turds. but really, i'm going to miss her.

from turds to turd, one of the things i very much enjoyed about being here is really getting to know someone i consider a supreme turd - a really ~cool~, funny, nice, cute, and awesome person who puts bees in my stomach and makes my chest pound. funny how i moved out here and got to know someone who lives in a place where the accents are funny, eh. universe, you're a funny and weird thing. but you're also an awesome thing.

i'm posting white heaven's "out" because peace out and because supreme turds have great taste in music.



white heaven - out

p.s. the title track is a jam

tonight

i caught the stupid dog eating turds again.

realized i don't like drinking wine by myself. also realized i don't like drinking wine. it doesn't taste good and i'd rather eat candy.

my roommates were supposed to take me out to eat tonight, but that didn't happen. probably a good thing. i don't have the money to go out and i talk too much about them for them to be nice to me now.

what else... i leave in a week. goodbye california.

seriously, this wine tastes like vomit. the dog and i have something in common (we both have shit in our mouth).

this is how cool i am, you guys. it's saturday.



various - in lieu of cool pt.2
1. noir. - The Penthouse (Prod. fLako)
2. Slum Village - untitled (fantastic)
3. Swerve & SYG - SYG - Love.Sent.Delivered (LSD) (prod. Gloam)
4. Chuuwee - Navigation(Prod. By Pete Pine)
5. Chuuwee - Post-Mortem
6. Flamingosis - Euphoric (One For Knx)
7. Evan Holt - The Guitone Ft. Chuuwee(prod.whoarei)
8. Lee Bannon & Chuuwee - Feet Deep Part 1
9. Ras Nebyu - Washington Slizzards
10. Joey Bada$$ - 95 Til' Infinity [Prod. By Lee Bannon]
11. Kazi - Average
12. Blaise B. & Jay Kubes - Mad World

liking to not give a shi...care

a problem with blogging is not knowing how to start each post. after that it's not wanting to say everything that's on my mind. after that it's trying to make sense out of all the things i want to say. now i have to think of how to jump into what i came here to post. feelings... ahhh... feelings (annoyed ones). a reason i love hip hop is that it helps me subdue and distract any feelings i might have. i remember riding my bike in the tenderloin with my hood up listening to some galapagos 4 stuff not giving a shit - no one bothers you when you look like you don't give a shit (unless you're not white... but i'll stay away from going into that topic here). i found this true for most interactions. and if you act like you don't care enough, eventually you'll end up really not caring and no one will want to talk to you.

i look forward to going home (so i can tell my parents i blame them for everything wrong with my life (joking)). i just need some distractions and human interactions. side note: did i ever mention getting really annoyed with having a roommate who doesn't shut up? times like these i would just go for a walk or something. there were times at my old job i would do that. i remember getting really pissed off because my co-worker didn't want me to play rap. the truth is, that was only part of the reason i was pissed off. i was really trying to distract myself with a feeling and trying to not giving a shit about it. my (ex)girlfriend was living in paris and we were fighting about something and i took it out on my co-worker for not letting me play some hip hop. anyway, i went for a walk because i was being a baby. it's just nice to see people and not have to talk them (the record store i worked at is by a college campus and there were always people around). i swear i'm not a grump though. just don't tell me i can't play rap. YOU GOT THAT!? let me play hip hop and everything will be okay. i promise.

here's some "i don't give a care" rap for you guys. and since demos are raw as eff, what i'm posting will help you guys not give an efff about anything for the few next weeks.



outsidaz - demo

i have enough toes and roommates

i'm looking at my toes right now and it looks like i don't have enough. i do have enough. five is enough on one foot. but i think what's messing me up is my left foot being crossed over my right ankle and angled in a way i can't see my left pinkie toe. if this was tumblr, i'd take a picture (no i wouldn't). i don't even know why i'm talking about this. maybe because i'm trying to distract myself from my roommate... maybe i want him to go to his room and crawl out the window when he wants to leave the house so i wouldn't have to watch another "really funny" youtube video or hear another stupid accent. even the dog looks at him funny... like, "shut up and don't touch me, man." this post is getting negative. sorry. i'm just annoyed and i need a distraction.

so i'm definitely going to fall asleep before i figure out what music to post. the roommate went to sleep and the dog is resting her head on my arm as i type (and it's making me very relaxed).

i don't remember if i've posted this already, but whatever, right? it's relevant.



king krule - s/t

toast

a crumbled slice to the song i heard this morning and now won't stop listening to. i remember having this feeling in 2006. it's funny because that's the last time this artist put something out (not that funny... just a dumb coincidence). he puts all these feelings i rarely have into music and i end up not being able to shake things off. thanks, man.

luckily, i'm not obligated to post what i'm listening to. so here's some cold-wave stuff i enjoy... because my roommates think i'm part goth (i know this isn't goth, but to them it is).



black marble - a different arrangement

science of sleep things

i was going to post about how sleeping is easy. well it's not. the pup is sick and i get to clean it up. this is making me seem like i don't care that she's sick... i do care. it's just that she's an idiot and eats things that aren't edible to any living creature (except maybe a goat).
for those that aren't cleaning up after goat-dogs and want some sleep, here you go. i probably hate you for sleeping, but not really... i don't hate anyone.



jürgen müller - science of the sea

roommates

i am thankful for my room and closed doors.

thank you room.

thank you door that closes

and thank you, cool music
without you i wouldn't have something to link.



motion sickness of time travel - luminaries & synastry