perfect timing... but not really

"life is weird and i can't sleep, but here's some music" should be the name of this blog. i wish i could be completely honest on here. but the only thing i can be truly honest about is what i've been listening to or watching. even then, sometimes i don't want to be. so i'll leave with a quote from the last movie i watched: "These are hard times for dreamers." i'm taking this quote a few ways. it's hard to dream when you can't sleep. b/c i can't sleep. the last dream i remember was from a few weeks ago. david spade pushing me into a locker and me wanting to choke the shit out of him. other stuff happened in the dream (not between david spade and me), but those will go to the grave. nothing explicit, you weirdos. just things i want to keep to myself b/c they're important and relevant. it was one of those dreams that makes you realize how important and telling dreams are. made me realize how you probably know more than you think b/c thinking isn't always going to tell you the truth. also, eff an ego. you're better off being yourself. (note to self). (other note to self: trust yourself). the other way i'm taking that quote (the one about dreamers), is how it relates to letting go of your ego. the most memorable dreamers to me were the ones who were themselves completely. i didn't personally know any of them, but their personalities just seem so genuine and that they're so celebrated seems to attest to my assumption. i think my best friends have pretty genuine personalities. they're all beautiful people. people who aren't afraid to be who they are. almost like they don't even know what it's like to pretend being someone they're not. like their personalities have no reservations and make no apologies. what i'm saying is, i need to stop trying to be too cool. i'm probably not even cool enough to be "too cool." but you know what? that's okay. i don't need to be.

now the fun part: here's a mix i made for a recent event. enjoy!




Various - Sabbath After Midnight

i only sleep when i'm not supposed to

last night i wrote a post about infinity and the number 1. i'm not posting it b/c maybe i'm going crazy. it's dumb how i wake up every night at 3am. it's dumb as hell how the thought of space and all the possibilities of the universe cross my mind at the same time as having the insecurities of wanting a good hair day sunday for an event. life is funny like that. the big things make you feel small enough to think about the little things like the molecules that makeup the reason you're living with a perpetual bad hair day. i'll probably just wear a hat anyway. it's almost 5am and i'm thinking about looking up the history of hats. good morning, everyone.

btw, lord apex has a new ep. it's cool.



(this is what i wanted to post last night, but i'm listening to this at the moment)