31 July 2013

told you i'd see you suckers later

so it's my last full day in california. so much stuff to do today (but i have to wait till my uncle gets off work to finish up last minute stuff) and i don't know if i'll have the time to post later or even tomorrow. uuuuggggghhhhh. anyway, california was cool, but i'm ready to go back. i'm going to miss a puppy taking up half the room on the bed and waking me up every morning to go outside only to find she's eating her own turds. but really, i'm going to miss her.

from turds to turd, one of the things i very much enjoyed about being here is really getting to know someone i consider a supreme turd - a really ~cool~, funny, nice, cute, and awesome person who puts bees in my stomach and makes my chest pound. funny how i moved out here and got to know someone who lives in a place where the accents are funny, eh. universe, you're a funny and weird thing. but you're also an awesome thing.

i'm posting white heaven's "out" because peace out and because supreme turds have great taste in music.

white heaven - out

p.s. the title track is a jam

28 July 2013


i caught the stupid dog eating turds again.

realized i don't like drinking wine by myself. also realized i don't like drinking wine. it doesn't taste good and i'd rather eat candy.

my roommates were supposed to take me out to eat tonight, but that didn't happen. probably a good thing. i don't have the money to go out and i talk too much about them for them to be nice to me now.

what else... i leave in a week. goodbye california.

seriously, this wine tastes like vomit. the dog and i have something in common (we both have shit in our mouth).

this is how cool i am, you guys. it's saturday.

various - in lieu of cool pt.2
1. noir. - The Penthouse (Prod. fLako)
2. Slum Village - untitled (fantastic)
3. Swerve & SYG - SYG - Love.Sent.Delivered (LSD) (prod. Gloam)
4. Chuuwee - Navigation(Prod. By Pete Pine)
5. Chuuwee - Post-Mortem
6. Flamingosis - Euphoric (One For Knx)
7. Evan Holt - The Guitone Ft. Chuuwee(prod.whoarei)
8. Lee Bannon & Chuuwee - Feet Deep Part 1
9. Ras Nebyu - Washington Slizzards
10. Joey Bada$$ - 95 Til' Infinity [Prod. By Lee Bannon]
11. Kazi - Average
12. Blaise B. & Jay Kubes - Mad World

27 July 2013

liking to not give a shi...care

a problem with blogging is not knowing how to start each post. after that it's not wanting to say everything that's on my mind. after that it's trying to make sense out of all the things i want to say. now i have to think of how to jump into what i came here to post. feelings... ahhh... feelings (annoyed ones). a reason i love hip hop is that it helps me subdue and distract any feelings i might have. i remember riding my bike in the tenderloin with my hood up listening to some galapagos 4 stuff not giving a shit - no one bothers you when you look like you don't give a shit (unless you're not white... but i'll stay away from going into that topic here). i found this true for most interactions. and if you act like you don't care enough, eventually you'll end up really not caring and no one will want to talk to you.

i look forward to going home (so i can tell my parents i blame them for everything wrong with my life (joking)). i just need some distractions and human interactions. side note: did i ever mention getting really annoyed with having a roommate who doesn't shut up? times like these i would just go for a walk or something. there were times at my old job i would do that. i remember getting really pissed off because my co-worker didn't want me to play rap. the truth is, that was only part of the reason i was pissed off. i was really trying to distract myself with a feeling and trying to not giving a shit about it. my (ex)girlfriend was living in paris and we were fighting about something and i took it out on my co-worker for not letting me play some hip hop. anyway, i went for a walk because i was being a baby. it's just nice to see people and not have to talk them (the record store i worked at is by a college campus and there were always people around). i swear i'm not a grump though. just don't tell me i can't play rap. YOU GOT THAT!? let me play hip hop and everything will be okay. i promise.

here's some "i don't give a care" rap for you guys. and since demos are raw as eff, what i'm posting will help you guys not give an efff about anything for the few next weeks.

outsidaz - demo

23 July 2013

i have enough toes and roommates

i'm looking at my toes right now and it looks like i don't have enough. i do have enough. five is enough on one foot. but i think what's messing me up is my left foot being crossed over my right ankle and angled in a way i can't see my left pinkie toe. if this was tumblr, i'd take a picture (no i wouldn't). i don't even know why i'm talking about this. maybe because i'm trying to distract myself from my roommate... maybe i want him to go to his room and crawl out the window when he wants to leave the house so i wouldn't have to watch another "really funny" youtube video or hear another stupid accent. even the dog looks at him funny... like, "shut up and don't touch me, man." this post is getting negative. sorry. i'm just annoyed and i need a distraction.

so i'm definitely going to fall asleep before i figure out what music to post. the roommate went to sleep and the dog is resting her head on my arm as i type (and it's making me very relaxed).

i don't remember if i've posted this already, but whatever, right? it's relevant.

king krule - s/t

17 July 2013


a crumbled slice to the song i heard this morning and now won't stop listening to. i remember having this feeling in 2006. it's funny because that's the last time this artist put something out (not that funny... just a dumb coincidence). he puts all these feelings i rarely have into music and i end up not being able to shake things off. thanks, man.

luckily, i'm not obligated to post what i'm listening to. so here's some cold-wave stuff i enjoy... because my roommates think i'm part goth (i know this isn't goth, but to them it is).

black marble - a different arrangement

science of sleep things

i was going to post about how sleeping is easy. well it's not. the pup is sick and i get to clean it up. this is making me seem like i don't care that she's sick... i do care. it's just that she's an idiot and eats things that aren't edible to any living creature (except maybe a goat).
for those that aren't cleaning up after goat-dogs and want some sleep, here you go. i probably hate you for sleeping, but not really... i don't hate anyone.

jürgen müller - science of the sea

16 July 2013


i am thankful for my room and closed doors.

thank you room.

thank you door that closes

and thank you, cool music
without you i wouldn't have something to link.

motion sickness of time travel - luminaries & synastry

08 July 2013


when i first started boxing, my coach would always correct my chin: "chin down! keep your chin down!" when your chin is tucked, your shoulders provide cover from blind spots (left hooks if you're an orthodox fighter). this is important because a knock to the chin dazes or KOs. like most people, i don't learn from someone just telling me. the first time i got hit with a blinding left hook on the chin, i saw stars and my mood turned from being up to wanting to give up. (also, getting hit doesn't make me angry... or most other boxers for that matter. because anger blinds and drains your energy more than anything (not breathing has the same affect)).
i was an out-fighter... which means i stayed on the outside, jabbed, tried not to get hit, and used my feet to evade the space my opponent was trying to close in on me. the more i trained, the more i realized the lessons i was learning weren't just for boxing. maybe i'm stretching for this, but lessons are lessons and i believe the things i learned about myself are as true outside of boxing. i don't like letting people get too close (figuratively and literally), and i still haven't learned my lesson with keeping the most vulnerable part of me protected. moods can change so fast from taking a knock, that it just makes you want to give in and give up.
it's about 2:30pm and a'll i've done so far is eat a bagel with nutella, drank some arabica coffee, and watched half of a movie. i'm trying to think of ways to make this post and day not so gloom. maybe i'll eat the left over pizza from yesterday (because pizza is medicine for everything). PRIZZA TIME!

moonbeams - radio san francisco

07 July 2013


catching up on july and wanting august to get here so september will pass so i can live in october for a month. the fall, man. it reminds me of things i miss. sitting on the front porch with a book, but not reading it because i'm too occupied watching people drive/walk by. i miss seeing random people. not that i want to talk to them. i just like seeing people from where i live. that was my favorite part about sf - just sitting in front of my apartment building watching people (not staring... because that's creepy). same for when i lived in il. and the same for when i stayed with my grandma in guadalajara.
there are things i've learned about myself living where the burbs meet the sticks - i miss being left alone in a crowd. there are no crowds here. no busy streets. no people to look at walking by (except the occasional mom or dad walking their dog). only walgreens and houses with families who stay inside till they have to leave the house for work or groceries. i really hope this isn't coming across as me being sad... because i'm not. i just miss things and i'm having an existential crisis in bed listening to music that resonates because right now i'm playing a waiting game for a few different things... wondering if they even matter. one is out of my hands, while the other i'll probably wait till it's too late. there's a line in a movie (i'll be as vague as i want. though google is a great ruiner) that gets me every time: "life's funny. to a kid, time always drags. suddenly you're 50." i think about that sometimes. then i think about my father (being in his 50s) and how he tells me to not be like him (dragging his feet)... then i think about my mother, who also tells me to not be like my father. the problem is, i think i am like him. we daydream and make plans all day then wonder where the time went.

just d/l this because if you're here, you'll probably like it. (the lyrics are tagged in each song because).

keep (because it's my favorite)

06 July 2013

meeeeeeeelting into (blind spots)

either because of the food i ate earlier or something else (i won't lie... it's something else).


these things happen from the blind side (my right eye) like a semi truck plowing bees into my stomach.

be forest - cold

comma placent

i heard someone say 'ninja turtle shit' at the store today. it made me laugh. but did he mean a turd from a ninja turtle or a ninja turtle product or something? no one will ever know. it's like when someone says "i'm a grown ass man." do they mean they're a grown man, they are a grown ass(hole) and addressing the person they're telling as man, or are they reflecting on how much they really like grown butts? i guess it all depends on where the comma goes.
on the way to store i was behind a honda accord and thought: what if it was also an accordion? it could be a honda accordion. like, when it crashes it could collapse like an accordion and make a sound. this is what happens when you're an aging non-social idiot. you'll turn into me. so don't be like me. you all have very bright futures and i don't want to see them go to waste. hugs and kisses. except no hugs or kisses because don't touch me.

and for the tunes.

earlier i was on soulseek and noticed someone grabbing something from me i didn't recognize. so i listened to it... and i'm still listening to it (over and over, because it's nice as eff). if you like acheron (see precious post), you'll probably like this.

paul hares - blurred