a problem with blogging is not knowing how to start each post. after that it's not wanting to say everything that's on my mind. after that it's trying to make sense out of all the things i want to say. now i have to think of how to jump into what i came here to post. feelings... ahhh... feelings (annoyed ones). a reason i love hip hop is that it helps me subdue and distract any feelings i might have. i remember riding my bike in the tenderloin with my hood up listening to some galapagos 4 stuff not giving a shit - no one bothers you when you look like you don't give a shit (unless you're not white... but i'll stay away from going into that topic here). i found this true for most interactions. and if you act like you don't care enough, eventually you'll end up really not caring and no one will want to talk to you.
i look forward to going home (so i can tell my parents i blame them for everything wrong with my life (joking)). i just need some distractions and human interactions. side note: did i ever mention getting really annoyed with having a roommate who doesn't shut up? times like these i would just go for a walk or something. there were times at my old job i would do that. i remember getting really pissed off because my co-worker didn't want me to play rap. the truth is, that was only part of the reason i was pissed off. i was really trying to distract myself with a feeling and trying to not giving a shit about it. my (ex)girlfriend was living in paris and we were fighting about something and i took it out on my co-worker for not letting me play some hip hop. anyway, i went for a walk because i was being a baby. it's just nice to see people and not have to talk them (the record store i worked at is by a college campus and there were always people around). i swear i'm not a grump though. just don't tell me i can't play rap. YOU GOT THAT!? let me play hip hop and everything will be okay. i promise.
here's some "i don't give a care" rap for you guys. and since demos are raw as eff, what i'm posting will help you guys not give an efff about anything for the few next weeks.
outsidaz - demo